Summertime and the livin’ is sweaty
The bijli’s blinkin’
And the heat wave is significant.
Your discom’s received a glitch
But your electric power costs are surprising,
So hush, aam aadmi, why really don’t you cry?

– Summertime, Jhanish Jhoplin

Appear the incredibly hot weather and which is the nationwide chorus, calendar year right after 12 months. To deal with the recurring dilemma that crops up each year at this year, the IIT – the Indian Institute of Tautology – was tasked with conducting a review to confirm the aspects powering this puzzling occurrence. After in depth in-depth, as properly as in-width and in-height, subject investigation, the IIT submitted its report that highlighted some major conclusions.

1 of these was that the incidence of inverse vitality – the new, politically right time period for electrical power cuts and electrical outages – would seem to coincide with the sizzling climate and appears to increase in length and intensity as the temperatures increase during heat waves, which by prevalent consensus ended up attributed to gentleman-built local weather improve, which may or may not be induced by cross-border ‘western disturbances’ instigated by Pakistan’s ISI, a make any difference which the report submitted was finest remaining under advisement to the ministry of eternal affairs.

While the report famous the correspondence among heat waves – Islamabad-engineered or not – and inverse electrical power, it did not arrive at a unanimous verdict as to whether or not there was a causal hyperlink amongst the two, or irrespective of whether it was a outcome of Jungian synchronicity that explores and explicates paranormal phenomena these types of as the Bermuda Triangle and the druidical significance of Stonehenge.

The problem remaining established aside, nem. con., for deliberations by a specially appointed sub-committee, the report went on to concentration on the mysterious website link among the availability – or, alternatively, unavailability – of coal and the event of inverse electrical power. The report observed that attempting to establish a partnership of inverse strength with coal – or the absence of coal – was like developing the link involving the chicken and the egg: which came first, the murgi or the andaa?

It was an ontological problem about the nature of Becoming, the Kantian Ding an Sich – the Matter-in-Alone – the greatest reality. Did absence of coal develop what applied to be termed electricity cuts? Or did what utilised to be called power cuts build an absence of coal?

Or did the two take position concurrently, so substantiating Bell’s theorem of quantum mechanics, which posits a ‘non-local’ universe in which there are interactions concerning occasions also significantly aside in place and far too near together in time for them to be related even by alerts going at the pace of light-weight?

In an Annexure (marked Appendix B, Footnote 3c), the report drew a parallel concerning this hypothesis and the Einsteinian E=MC2 equation in which E stands for energy and MC2 stands for minus coal squared.

To resolve this deadlock, the report prompt that it may possibly be most effective to deem both the existence, or absence, of coal and the manifestation of what employed to be termed electricity cuts, to be suspended in a limbo analogous to that occupied by Schrodinger’s Cat, which could be thought of neither dead nor alive until an observation relating to its condition of becoming, or non-currently being, identified the final result, therefore corroborating Heisenberg’s theory of uncertainty.

At this level of the proceedings, the report mentioned that an unscheduled inverse electrical power, plunged anything into pitch blackness and stifling heat, placing an abrupt end to all further company, which was adjourned suo motu until even further notice, or till the bijli arrived on again, whichever was later on.

Come on, let’s sweat once more,
Like we did final summer season
Yeah, let’s sweat again,
As we did previous yr!
Do you bear in mind when all the supporters stopped turnin’
Yeah, let’s sweat once again, sweatin’ time is listed here!
– Let us Sweat Once again, Chubby Chadda